Part A – OLD ENERGY

My first experience of an ‘exorcism’ was when I was 18. I had a very weird sensation in my back for months - like pain but also hot burning feeling. I had started dating a guy and he lived with a spiritual healer. One day I asked the healer what caused the back pain and he said it was from 2 spirits that had clung to me; one from when I was very little and one from a year before.

He was a shaman and did a ritual involving sage smoke and getting me to say ‘I love myself’.  That was very difficult for me, because I had never said it before. But as I muttered the words over and over, energy broke through my heart and left my body. It was the most recent energy, but the older one wouldn’t budge.

Over the years I became an astral traveller. I think I was addicted, as I didn’t want to truly live on earth – I would rather be flying around and meeting spirit friends.  Some astral experiences were absolutely amazing (beautiful sunsets, people, food, animals), and then other times I met intense dark energies.

Once I saw a black being similar to an octopus, on top of my body sucking at my spirit. I must have had a lot of heart energy that had turned into anger/unforgiveness/resentment etc and this being was feeding on it. As you can imagine I freaked a bit but instinctively rolled my spirit over and out of bed. It had disappeared like it never existed at all. I think I switched stations or raised my vibration to a level of courage which automatically raised me above fear. If I had been afraid, my spirit would have been frozen in one spot and unable to release the entity. The next moment my spirit guide walked into the room and I had a wonderful meeting with him.

I believe the entity was similar to a cleaner. It sucked away dark sick energy from my heart, which enabled me to be a good person in this world. If all that energy had stayed I would have probably hurt people and been a hopeless cause. I began to believe there was a higher purpose even for those energies who were judged to be evil spirits.

My next experience was in the astral and once again I was lying on my bed. My boyfriend was on my left side and suddenly I felt a spirit on my right side. The spirit felt like a normal person and even though I felt some dark energy my compassion and love for the energy was enormously strong. I turned over and kissed the being. As soon as I did I regretted it because it was the same as kissing amenotep on ‘The Mummy’. The horror and sickness was so overwhelming, but I couldn’t escape it because I had lovingly surrendered to feeling the energy and once I did the energy engulfed me and shared all of its being with me.

As soon as I managed to get into my body and wake up, I cried. I had just kissed to accumulation of all my fears and all my horrors. The being was an energy that I had created and carried around with me in order to hold the energy, so I could be a nice person. It was like a suitcase that I kept stuffing with all the horrible things I heard and saw, so I would never have to feel them again. But through kissing the energy I had absorbed it and it was no longer outside of me. It was now accepted and had been absorbed and never again did I encounter that sort of energy or fear.

It’s actually very difficult to write about these experiences, because I am not there with my smiling face to reassure you that everything is beautiful no matter what; and that meeting and witnessing these energies was the most courageous thing I could have ever done and prepared me for the wonderful life I have today.  So I need to rest and end this now, but I do want to write about how this process has evolved for me as a healer.